Lifes quick and it can pass you by in a flash. Blink and you will miss it. Days. Weeks. Months. There goes another year.
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Being more aware. Being more present. For me provides a peace. A calm in the storm that can be life.
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Practicing being in the now. What are we doing this moment. Concentrate and appreciate. Its what I try to teach. Try to pass onto all my athletes. All my swimmers. Focus on intentions for the immediate future. Dial your emotions into the next few seconds.
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Looking too forward can cause fear. Fear is debilitating. Fear causes panic. Fear is discomfort. Fear is unease. The unknown. The yet to be written..Fear!!!.
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To take control of the future you have to make decisions based upon where you are now not where you think you may be in say 10 days time. Projecting your feelings and emotions into the future is impossible. I don’t have a crystal ball. I don’t have a pack of Tarot cards. But one thing I do know and that’s what is happening this instant. This next second. That’s all I have to deal with right now so that makes things much more managable.
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Trying to deal with all lifes problems at once. Thats no good. Take a breath. Relax. You never know an intuitive thought or action will come in. Try to force it and you will crash and burn.
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Safe swimming folks. Pop your goggles on. Put your head back and just feel the now. MH🤗
Category: Swimming
That time I will never get back. The opportunity lost. A moment in the universe absorbed by the grains of sand passing through the hourglass. Away into that watery grave. .
I have to be on my game. I have to be always one step ahead. To plan and to be focused.
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My little book is my bible. My way of life. It’s the timetable of my existence. To live and breath it. To most definitely love it!! .
Safe swimming folks.. and come on hurry up!!.. time and tide waits for no man. The Moon says so! MH🤗
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photo credit to my good friend @theopenwaterphotographer ..he is well worth a Follow.
The Ocean kick started my recovery. It peeled back layers of me that I never knew even existed.Before I even came into recovery I had a feeling. An inkling that I was different out there. Something I just couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I felt like I needed it though. Somewhere maybe to escape the demons. To wash away my sins to be cleansed of my affliction and somewhere beyond the crowds to make the pain go away. To silence my head. I was dark and depressed and out there it seemed to soften the blow. Open Water Swimming opened my eyes to a world beyond the confines of land. Beyond the restrictions of boundaries, borders, economic restraints and social restrictions. It opened up a world to me of infinite possibilities, an ever changing landscape where anything can go. It helped me to adapt, to be flexible. It taught me respect, gave me confidence and i’ve experienced highs that no amount of drinking or drugging ever reached.Most days it hands me out a whipping though. It beats me up. Rolls me around. It’s the boss and not even me can change that and I love it. The healing properties of the ocean. The kinetic energy, A driving force. Tides and time. The ebb and the flow. The powerful currents that circle our planet. Keeping our system moving. Ever changing. It binds us. Powers us. It cleans and brings us life. The planet is 70% blue. As a human I am 60% water. Hell 375million years ago I was even a fish. I rest there and play there. I work. I think, I action, I escape and I reset.The sea offered a staging ground for my head. An area for my feelings to be free. For my mind to occupy a space that allows it to be loose. To roam. To spread its wings.To this day I’m still not sure whether I found it or the Ocean came for me. But what I do know is that it’s kept me sane. It set me free. It saved my life and I owe it big time!Safe swimming folks. Always take your rubbish with you because that just happens to be someone or something’s home out there. Thank you. MHThis message is super important for all of us who care about our Oceans so Please Share to your Groups and click www.instagram.com/theopenwaterswimmingcoach to give me a Follow on Insta. TY
Open Water Swimming is a fun sport
Open Water Swimming is a fun sport. .
Swimming Outdoors can be hilarious in fact.
No competitions just floating. No times to beat. Just dipping. No distances to reach no medals to win.
Bobbing around in a river or back stroking your way across a lake.
Waterfall plunges or white water thrills.
It’s just plain old fun. .
Life serious. Bill’s and wills. Life and death. The very nature of our existence on this planet means we have to graft. We have to survive.
A to b. 9 to 5. There’s a pattern forming there.
The daily grind and in some form we all have it.
Restrictions now to swimmers of our variety. Our flavour of outdoor bathers.
Life’s fun and games can be had by simply just getting wet.
Safe swimming when we can folks. And when we can. Make sure you… “say cheese”.
MH🤗
It’s ok… I’ve gotcha!
Trust. A Massive part in being a coach, a Teacher. A beacon of light in this sometimes gloomy world. A mentor. A big part of being a friend. A monumental piece of being a good human.
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Life’s tough. Even on good days. We cant always win, however its about living with 2nd place. Our medals are not worn or displayed. Our war wounds are not always visible. The scars of life can run deep. They can continue to cut. .
I bleed salt water.
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To inspire others. To guide them. To see them step out from the shadows. To watch them flourish. To be fulfilled.
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Its not a job, a hobby or something I do at the weekend. Its 24, 7, 365. Its my life.
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Safe swimming when we can folks. Its calling me. Heck.. it may even be my calling! MH🤗
I have a close relationship with all of the Team. We share good stuff and bad. I am open and honest about who I was, what I did and where I am now.
80% of the gang are ladies. They are my mums of the open water. They care and we share. I care and they share back.
Its teaching me to be myself, to love myself, as myself.
Having goals and aspirations when you feel down on yourself. When you hate yourself. When it feels the whole word is against you. The self pity. The self-deprecation. Self abuse and Self harm. There is always the bestest of intentions. To break the cycle. To start today. Lets begin on Monday. No just one more.
Eat sleep repeat with it.
For me it’s been the lot. Drink, drugs. Bingeing or starving myself. Exercise or being a sloth. Anything to keep control. To keep the demons at bay. Really just anything to change the way I feel because I detested myself. Hated my situation.
Open water swimming has given me meaning. Its given me purpose. Its giving me a new lease and a love for life. One that I wished for but one that seemed so very far away. Always just out of reach. .
The people I have come in contact with. The group therapy. The power of a community.
I’m lucky to have found it. Found them. Or did it find me. My calling!
There’s no thing to tell you what u should look like. No one who gives a monkeys. There’s no right or wrong way of doing it. Thin or fat, rich or poor. The Open Water has no dress code and you don’t have to be socially beautiful to join the gang.
It may just have saved my life. Its certainly saved my soul. Its restored me to sanity.
Open Water! Its healing from the inside out. This stuff isn’t just skin deep. Like true self love, it starts from within.
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Safe swimming folks. It sorts you right out. MH🤗
Picture of the amazing Nicole. 3 months ago all the bad bits above.. now? Well she knows how she feels. Fellow ice swimmer, the best human being and one of my mums. I love her to bits. So a massive Happy Mothers Day this weekend to all my open water mums out there. I may not sea you all but you know who u are. Stay safe and thanks for looking out for me..💜
My cold water swim
There are only 3 people in this world that know what I have just put myself through. 3 people who looked after me like a new born. 3 people who cared for me at my point where without them I would most likely be dead.
This was a calculated controlled swim. My post dip condition was inevitable but it was planned for. This was a thought out and considered event, not just a throwaway jolly with no thought for any one’s safety.
We knew where this may take me and we prepared for it.
My cold water swimming career has progressed since its inception. The heady elation of that first cold water dip. That post recovery high. All but a distant memory.
I didn’t get any of that today. I got tears instead. I got emotions so powerful it made me cry.
This is where I have taken myself. This is where I am.
My illness of alcoholism was progressive and I see that in my swimming. I didn’t start my drinking career as it ended in 2014. It constantly evolved. Moved on and ran away with me. I only had a certain amount of drinking time in me and that translates across to my swimming. On the limit of what my body can endure. The elation of that first drink so long ago. Constantly chased. Obsessively seeked. Always reaching out to capture it again and again and again. It never came. The insanity.
I drank to black out and now it would appear that I swim that way as well. And just like my drinking I have no choice.. Shit!!
Alcohol was the death of me. So close I dreamt of it. So near I willed it. To take me. To end my misery. Alone on a runaway train. A one way ticket. Next stop… Hell!
Today I was a patient being brought back from the brink. I want to cry I want to hold on to those that cared for me. Those that kept me safe when I was at my most vulnerable. My most exposed.
It’s been traumatic. It’s been a roller coaster. the highs and lows. The crashes and elation’s. The gut wrenching pit of my stomach raw raw feelings. It stops me in my tracks.
What am I doing with my swimming!? There was no medal today. No certificate of achievement. No plaudits, celebrity endorsements or an after party. There was a hug from Ju and some snaps to help me with recall.
Before today’s swim I feared the after. Feared the what now? What next? Where do I go and what do I do? .
This event was a calculated measured experience that took me and the team to places both physically and emotionally that we have never been to before.
Did it do what I wanted it to do? I completed what I set out to achieve so yes. Was it enough? 6 years ago I would have said yes, however experience and clarity tells me enough is never enough for an addict of my calibre.
I smashed the life out of myself today. My mind beat my body up big time and I cannot say that I won’t do it again. Its just the way I am. Its scary being me.
Safe cold water swimming folks and keep coming back..MH🤗
Massive massive thank you to #teamhawkes . who without I wouldn’t even have turned up.
After Friday and well after my recovery. I could have taken on Tyson. I felt that good, that pumped. Realisation then that nothing could stand between me and my ultimate goal.
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This was a calculated swim done under controlled conditions with one sole purpose behind it.. Confidence confidence confidence..
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This wasn’t a throwaway blast with no thought about my own safety. 23 minutes in sub 6 degrees for me is no laughing matter its a serious business.
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I felt amazing, I felt strong and my mind pushed my body to a point where I needed to be cared for. Thats what we planned for and thats what happened. Job done. The recovery was a dream. Some dark flash backs. A bad B movie being played out through the slit in my dry robe. Thank God for black outs I say.
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I needed to build myself up. To boost my levels. To feel that flow. That feeling. To experience something so traumatic and to come through it. I overcame my demons and conquered.
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For me to take on the Bay this Saturday. I needed it. I had to lay it all on the line or just give up.
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I’m ready to fight now. Ready to stand toe to toe confident that I can give it my best shot with a decent chance of success. Before I was nothing. Now I’ll smash the life out of it like I just smashed the life out of myself.
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Self belief. Winning before I even start.
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PS. Massive massive thank you to the person that took care of me on Friday making me safe and sound in my hour of need. 💜 I couldn’t and wouldn’t have done it without you. #teamhawkes , which without, none of what I want to achieve is possible. Thanks for being there and believing in me.
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Roll on Saturday and Link in Bio for full details of Swim.. MH🤗.